Never Say Goodbye Read online

  “Ugh, can I say I’m dreading the first day. The first day of any class is BOR-ING,” Brynn says sleepily.

  “Rise and shine buttercup it’s going to be a great day,” I say all cheery. I end up getting hit in the face by one of Brynn’s pillows.

  “I want more sleep,” she murmurs while pulling her sheets up over her head.

  “No time, get up because we need to get a move on.” She finally relents and gets up and heads into the bathroom. Thank goodness she doesn’t take forever or we’d be late to our very first college class.

  My classes are ridiculously packed. I end up sitting near the front in a few of them. I learn that the back of the rooms are always taken first. That’s okay by me, I need to study and make sure I pass my classes. I don’t know anyone except for Brynn, but she’s only in two of my classes and I’m taking six classes this semester. I look around and…yep, I don’t know one single person. Ugh, this is going to be a long semester. Brynn was right, the first day of class does suck. The professor’s just go over the syllabus then explain their guidelines and expectations. Fun times right here.

  As I head back to the dorm, Brynn’s nowhere in sight. I start to review what my professor’s want and dive into some reading. Later on, Brynn’s still not back, so I text Ryan and we chat back and forth for a little while.

  Eventually I fall asleep, but wake up when I hear Brynn stumble in, I don’t bother to ask questions, I just go back to sleep.

  Chapter Five

  We are two months into our first college semester. Things are going well. The work is hard, but I’m managing. Ryan and I are doing great, well as great as can be expected considering the distance. Brynn and I end up rushing for a sorority and both get in. It’s definitely going better than I thought and some of the girls are really great. I’m becoming better friends with Sophie, which works out well, because we actually end up having a class together.

  “Oh my gosh Liv, you should see the guys that are in my econ class. I’m telling you like beyond hot. I can’t even decide which one I like best, they are that smoldering,” Brynn says all serious. I start laughing because my best friend always makes me laugh with her craziness over boys; she keeps talking about guys in her classes’ day after freaking day.

  “B, I’m sure you could have any one of them you want, but why don’t you try to get to know one, you never know what might happen. Just because they look all sexy on the outside doesn’t mean they’re that way on the inside,” I say looking at her with a determined look.

  “Oh boo, don’t try to spoil my fun. I won’t date any of them, but they’re definitely great pieces of eye candy. I don’t have to physically fuck them, but I can still eye fuck them Liv, so let me have my fantasies,” she says with a pout.

  “Oh my gosh, I cannot believe you just said that,” I say laughing.

  “What? Liv, you know me well enough to know I’m not a slut. So what if I like to flirt, it’s harmless.”

  “Oh I know B, I know,” I say with a small laugh.

  “Oh Liv, I wanted to ask, have you seen Stace on campus at all?” she asks looking curiously.

  “No, why does she go here?” I ask because I didn’t realize Stace, a girl we graduated with, was coming to UNC too.

  “Yeah, she told me she does, but I haven’t seen her anywhere,” she says now looking confused.

  “Brynn I’m not surprised, this place is huge. I hardly see the same people twice and that’s only because I have class with a few of them,” I say laughing. I’m not lying. This place is crazy with college kids and visitors, its nuts.

  “Okay, well maybe we can text and meet up somewhere sometime,” she says, like it’s an afterthought.

  “Sure sounds good.”

  Tomorrow we have a Halloween party at our sorority house, so that should be fun. Brynn won’t show me her costume or mine for that matter. She says they’re a surprise, which has me nervous because this is the one day of the year you can dress like a hooker and get away with it. I hope that’s not the case for tomorrow. Tonight, it’s just hanging out with a group of friends, watching movies and playing games, we decided to save the drinking for tomorrow. I’m sure my liver’s thanking me right now.

  “Oh Liv, you’re going to love it, this costume is amazing and with your body you’re going to look smoking hot. AHHHH I can’t wait,” Brynn squeals in delight.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  “What the heck am I wearing tonight Brynn?” I ask slightly nervous and irritated

  “Oh stop, you’ll love it, just trust me. I won’t disappoint,” she always makes me nervous because well she’s Brynn, my crazy best friend.

  Then she holds up my costume…”What the hell is that?” I ask looking at the strange concoction of black and white material hanging on a hanger.

  “Umm, your costume silly, here, go put it on,” she says as she hands it to me.

  “B, there’s nothing to it, I’m not wearing that,” I argue.

  “Liv, yes you are, it’s a sexy referee outfit. You love sports so it fits, and you even get a whistle,” she says excitedly.

  “No seriously B, I can’t wear that, th-there’s nothing to it,” I stutter, eyeing the barely there costume.

  “Oh stop, you’ll fit it just fine and don’t worry your goodies will still be covered so lover boy won’t be mad,” she says as she pushes me towards the bathroom.

  “Uhhh B, I don’t like this,” I say extremely nervous.

  “Too bad, put it on now. I’ll change too,” she sounds way too excited for our costumes.

  “What are you wearing?” I ask out of curiosity

  “Oh, you just wait and see,” she says with a laugh. I head into the bathroom to try to put on this costume, if you can even call it that.

  “Oh my gosh Brynn, you look so hot,” I tell her as I come out of the bathroom.

  “Don’t I know it?” she says with a mischievous smile.

  “You are definitely the sexiest batgirl I’ve ever seen,” I say giggling.

  “That’s the point. Liv, you look super sexy just let me fix this right here,” she says as she pulls the little shorts higher up my leg.

  “B stop, they’re already too short, I feel like my ass is hanging out and my boobs, holy shit, they look like they’re going to pop out of this thing,” I say as I look at myself in the mirror

  “Oh sweet Liv, that’s what a corset’s for, you need to flaunt your hot little body. Now let me fix your hair and make-up and we can head out,” B says as she ushers me back towards the bathroom. After about thirty more minutes of prepping we’re finally ready to head out the door.

  “Oh wait; first let me take a picture of you so you can send it to lover boy,” B says as she takes my phone snaps a picture of me. “Now, send it and let’s go,” she says urgently.

  “Okay hold on a sec.” I text the picture to Ryan, throw my phone in my wristlet, and we head out the door. We make the short walk to the sorority house and are blown away by the decorations and the costumes.

  “Holy shit you ladies look smoking,” a guy I’ve never seen before says to us as we walk in the front door.

  “Don’t we know it,” Brynn says as she pulls me along, inside the house. We head over to our new sisters who all can’t stop complementing our costumes. The party’s in full swing and I know I’m ready to let loose for a night. Megan comes back with a tray full of drinks so I take one and suck it down pretty fast.

  “Whoa slow down Liv, you don’t want to end up puking,” Sophie says.

  “Oh Soph, don’t worry about Liv, I got her covered, she needs to get drunk once in a while,” Brynn says to Soph like I’m not even standing there. I agree with B, so it’s not like I would argue anyway.

  As the night goes on I’m feeling pretty tipsy, but having a blast. I dance the night away with a bunch of frat guys, my best friend and sorority sisters. I feel like someone’s watching me at times throughout the night, but quickly drop the thought because well I am pretty drunk.


  As I make my way towards the kitchen to get myself another drink, I get stopped. “Hey, I just wanted to say that you are the sexiest ref I’ve ever seen. My name’s Chad by the way,” he says as he holds his hand out for me to shake.

  “Hi I’m Olivia, nice to meet you.”

  “Olivia nice, well actually Olivia, I have a favor to ask…” Oh gosh what on earth is this guy going to proposition me with? I am so not in the mood for getting hit on by a drunken guy.

  “What’s that?” I ask rudely.

  “Well I’ve seen you around campus with the girl you’re here with tonight and I was wondering if she was well…if she was seeing anyone?” he asks shyly.

  “Why are you asking me and not her Chad?” I ask kind of harshly.

  “Well, because I don’t want to really introduce myself here at a party because that’s lame and I don’t have a lot of time off because I’m on the basketball team. I’ve only seen her and yourself in passing and was surprised to actually see you both here,” he says smiling.

  “Well Chad, you seem like a half decent guy,” I think in my drunken state, “so I’ll tell you that my best friend, her name is Brynn, and we are sisters in the sorority that you’re partying at tonight,” I say smiling back to him.

  “Oh wow, okay well that’s good to know. Do you guys come to our basketball games at all? I haven’t seen you, but it does get kind of crazy,” he asks nervously.

  “We haven’t been to any yet, things have been a little crazy right now, but hopefully soon. So look Chad, why don’t you just talk to her, she’s not drunk tonight, unlike myself, so you should say hi,” I tell him.

  “Oh, umm yeah sure, I’ll do that, thanks Olivia,” he says as he turns to look for my best friend. I make my way into the kitchen and get myself another drink.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  “Ugh….what happened last night?” I mumble from my bed.

  “You got drunk, your aspirin and water are on the desk beside you, drink up and then go back to sleep,” she says irritated.

  “Sorry B, thanks for taking care of me.”

  “Yeah, now sleep,” she mumbles from her pillow. I take the pills, drink the glass of water and then fall back to sleep. Hopefully, when I wake up, the killer headache I have will be gone.

  Hours later I wake up to see that Brynn is nowhere around. I hop into the shower and try to feel better. I don’t feel horrible, just a little off. When I get out of the shower, I’m surprised to see Brynn back.

  “Hey you, how are you feeling?” she asks kindly.

  “Actually, a lot better than I thought I would considering last night,” I say with a smile.

  “Good, because you’re never going to believe what happened to me last night,” she says all excitedly.

  “Oh let me guess….you met a guy?” I say laughing.

  “Damn you Liv, yes I did and guess what?”

  “Umm he’s about 6’2” blonde hair blue eyes and looks like he has a nice body. Oh and yeah he plays basketball for our school….did I miss anything?” I say with a big smile. The look on Brynn’s face is priceless.

  “What the hell Liv, how do you know this shit? You were fucking wasted last night, I saw you, hell I brought you home,” she all but yells.

  I can’t stop laughing. “Well, best friend of mine, Chad came up and asked me about you before actually talking to you, so I got to meet the man that’s making my best friend smile this morning,” I say with a smile.

  “Liv, he is freaking hot and his personality is great, well so far. We don’t know a whole lot about each other, but we’re going to hang out tonight,” she says all excitedly.

  “B, I’m very happy for you, I hope he’s a good guy, if he’s not I’ll hurt him,” I say seriously.

  “Wow Liv, let me actually get to know the guy before you go all kung-fu on his ass,” she says laughing which in turn makes me bust out laughing.

  “Okay, that sounds like a good plan,” I say between laughs.

  The rest of the day is spent doing homework and helping Brynn figure out what she’s wearing for her date/hanging out with Chad. When she finally heads out, it’s more homework for me and then hopefully talking to my boyfriend. We haven’t been able to catch each other much the past few weeks, so hopefully that can change.

  Around 10:30 I call Ryan, knowing its only 7:30 in California. I wait and wait for him to answer.

  “Hey Liv, sorry I just got out of the shower. What’s up?” he asks slightly out of breath.

  “Oh nothing, just thought we could talk, we haven’t really had the chance lately.”

  “Yeah I know, sorry football, school and the guys have me busy," he states.

  “I know; did you get the picture I sent you last night?” I ask surprised because he never messaged me back about it.

  “Which picture are you talking about Liv?” huh, what does he mean what picture, I only sent him one.

  “Ryan, I texted you a picture last night of my Halloween costume. I was actually surprised you didn’t respond at all.”

  “Hmm that’s weird, I never got a picture of you, can you send it again?” he asks kindly.

  “Umm, sure I’ll send it when we get off the phone,” I tell him.

  “Okay good. I miss you Liv.”

  “I miss you too. I know we haven’t had much time to talk, but are we okay Ryan?” I ask because something just seems off lately with our conversations. He’s not the attentive boyfriend I’m used to and it’s a bit frustrating.

  “Yeah Liv, we’re fine. Sorry I’ve just been busy. I don’t mean to ignore you babe. I’m just trying to concentrate on football,” he says in a serious tone.

  “I know Ryan, I get that, are you sure you still want to try and have a relationship with me?” I ask shyly.

  “What the hell Liv, why are you asking me this?” he yells through the phone.

  “I don’t want to be a distraction for you, but I want to know that I still matter. It’s not easy like it used to be; now we’re hundreds of miles apart. I want to know that you still want the same things as I do,” I say hastily.

  “Look Liv, I know you have things going on there with school and your sorority and I have football; I do want the same things as you baby but…” and then there’s nothing but silence.

  “But what?” I ask.

  “Look Liv, I love you I do, I just don’t have the time to have the relationship you want right now. Baby, football and school keep me so busy I barely have enough time to sleep. It’s not fair to you because you do deserve my attention and right now, I just can’t give it to you," he says sadly into the phone.

  I’m speechless, absolutely speechless. Here is the man who told me to try to have a relationship with him even though we’re so far apart only to come back at me a few months later and says he can’t do it anymore. “Ryan is there someone else?” I ask nervously. I know it’s not the right thing to ask, but I need to know.

  “No babe there’s no one else. I honestly have no time for anything other than football and school. Liv, I love you,” he says with sadness in his voice.

  “I’ll let you go, I need to finish a paper," I lie, but I can’t sit on the phone any longer with him right now.

  “Okay babe. I’ll talk to you soon.”

  “Yeah sure, night Ryan,” I say and then hang up before he has a chance to say anything back.

  As much as I knew it would be hard to have a relationship with so many miles between us, I thought our love was strong enough that we would make it. Obviously, I’m delusional. I decide to check stuff out on the internet to try to take my mind off of what just happened and that’s when I see it. On Facebook, Ryan, my boyfriend, with another girl in his arms and his lips on hers, he lied to me. He doesn’t want to have a relationship with me. I shut the computer down and spend the rest of the night crying. This man lied to me and just broke my heart.

  Sometime later Brynn comes in. “You awake Liv?” she asks.

  “I am now, how was your
date?” I ask as she turns on the light that’s on the desk by her bed.

  “Oh my gosh I need to tell you about…What the hell Liv, were you crying?” she asks worriedly.

  “I’m fine B, tell me about your date,” I say trying to sound enthusiastic when I feel anything but.

  “That can wait, why were you crying Liv, what happened?” The tone in her voice tells me she’s not going to let it go so I give in.

  “Ryan and I broke up.”

  “WHAT,” she practically yells.

  “We broke up Brynn; he can’t focus on having a relationship while trying to focus on football, but he has no problem kissing other girls,” I say sadly.

  “Oh honey I’m so sorry,” she says as she sits on my bed and hugs me.

  My tears start up again and I can’t help it, I cry on her shoulder. “I’m sorry B, I want to hear about your date with Chad,” I say to try to lighten the mood.

  “Honey, you don’t want to hear about a date when you’re hurting because of a boy. Our talk about Chad can wait. Let me change and then we can watch funny movies and eat all the junk food we have,” she says trying to cheer me up. My best friend definitely knows how to make me smile.

  “Thanks B,” I say as she looks for her pajamas. She changes and then we spend the next few hours munching on our goodies and watching silly movies that make us laugh like little girls. Thank god for best friends.

  The next few weeks drag on and I miss Ryan like crazy. We haven’t spoken since we broke up, I just can’t answer his phone calls. He called a few times and sends me numerous texts, but I’m ignoring them. I don’t know what to say, nothing’s going to change that we’re broken up so what’s the point? Why hurt myself more. Brynn told me not to respond and if I need her to get rid of him, she will. More like she told me she would personally kick his ass. I ignore him and throw myself into my schoolwork as much as possible. I can say my grades are awesome, but my personal life is non-existent. I haven’t attended any of our sorority functions. I just don’t feel like being around people. Not happy, boy-crazy people anyway.

  Brynn tries to pull me out of my mindset, but it’s not working. I don’t want to pull her down in my misery. She’s hanging out with Chad as much as possible and he seems like a really great guy. I’m happy with him, as long as he keeps putting that smile on my best friends face. As long as he continues to do that, we’ll be good.